vendredi 13 novembre 2009

...a walk on the child side

Although guys can’t carry children, I wonder if they too mind-torture themselves as much as some of us girls do, about whether to live a child-free life or choose the path filled with diapers and Fisherprice toys, thus ending up most of the time living a senior’s life before age.

My friends and I are all in our late 20s/early 30s. I had never really thought about having children myself, taking life as it comes, until some of my closest friends got married and started to pop! I thought "But that only happens to grown-ups and we’re - I AM still going clubbing and getting hammered every week end!!".

The day my best friend J. gave birth, she called me from France (I live in Germany) to happily inform me she had become a MOM. And that her belly was hanging all over the place too but this, she didn’t mention.
I actually knew she was pregnant. But for some reason, my mind hadn’t registered that being pregnant actually meant giving birth after 9 months. So J. had to near the phone close to her baby daughter for me to hear the giggles and attest of a new born baby.
Then it hit me: if it had happened to J., it meant it was also going to happen to my other friends too? Oh yes it happened. And in less time than I needed to say BLOODY HELL, vanished are the good times!

“Something i´m not: Is there a mother in every woman?”
This is the title of a book by Lucy Beresford I’ve recently read but wouldn’t exactly recommend, as the title is quite misleading and the book is more about mother-daughter relationships. Not a bad book on the whole, just not covering the subject you’d think it would.
Nevertheless, I like the title of that book because it is definitely thought- provoking: Is there a mother in every woman? So what do you think?

Frankly, I think not. That will probably sound selfish but there is more to life than giving birth and I don’t see the point in sacrificing body and life for the sake of someone else’s. I am not ready either to have a permanent contract with anyone else but myself. And I am obviously not giving up on clubbing nor on getting regularly hammered. Even when i´m 50.

Pathetic you think? I think too.
The thing is, I just can’t find any good reason or motivation for becoming a mother. And I have to admit that sometimes I shame myself for not being able to understand why a child is the most beautiful thing that could happen to you.
That said, I hope I won’t discover why being a Mother is fantastic once it’s too late.
But if I ever do as I secretly hope, and before it´s too late of course, I will let you know!

2 commentaires:

  1. well..i have the same problem and I am 39. Sometimes it's harder to explain why you don't want to have kids that the reasons why you have one. I feel good enough even without kids. I don't have a career, I work and have plenty of time and yes, I have a serious long lasting relationship (10 years) with a man that I love. Someone told me lately "You know, you should have a kid. It will change your life" and I replied "It's the exact reason why I don't want one, I like my life as it is"

  2. I couldn´t agree more. I like my life as it is.


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